I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize