im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I love having hate sex.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
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