I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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