It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
