Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
