Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize