i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
