the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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