jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
