It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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