Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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