Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
