his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
We have started to decorate penises.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
