I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
