i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
