Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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