Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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