What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
