woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
