those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
