there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Randomize
