If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
