so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
