brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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