My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
