Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
