you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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