So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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