Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Randomize
