whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
