I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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