dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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