i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
