Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
