Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
