Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
