There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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