Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
