Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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