why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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