Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
