if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
