no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
