Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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