your room smells of hookers.
And success
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
