I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
