Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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