my vag is so smooth its legendary
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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