You work out of a Hotel?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Randomize
