Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
