i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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