He asked to "fluff my boner.."
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
