I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
