You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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