are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
