We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
