and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
