No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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