I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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