i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
