He told me they were just razor bumps!
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
