Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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