walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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