'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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