I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
