Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize